fairytalely angel

usually i do not want to miss the peace of the night because waking up to a new day might change everything for the worse, all over again. but the man is coming back on tuesday! and i wish i can sleep through these couple of days with the girl until a kiss is planted on our lips :)

oh gosh, me and my cinderella-y dreams again!

the man is coming home, soon!

spent friday afternoon yesterday scrubbing the toilet and mopping the floor. i only have to hold my breath tight for this weekend but it feels like forever! i am so overwhelmed that it always slips my mind to grab a coffee. i need to right everything by this weekend :)

when you are clutching a piece of heaven, it is hard to let go. but these days i do not feel like i am clutching onto a piece of heaven because i actually feel that i'm immersed in heaven. i am always first in line for comfort and security, and love. i like to lay around and observing my happy, peaceful girl. i am fulfilled in little ways and very much looking forward to tuesday. weekends are always fruitful top-ups, comfort laden because the working days have been so draining.

anyway decided to make strawberry tofu mousse for alexis on a whim, since i had tofu and strawberry lying around in the fridge and it is always my habit to think of healthy recipes for the girl :) it is a no brainer to make. just blend silken tofu, fresh strawberry and agave nectar until super smooth and refrigerate to set. another awesome recipe to let the girl cling on to me, and also have myself in excitement and then declaring that this will be one of my favourite snack - oatmeal raisin energy bar.

oatmeal raisin energy bar
80g raisins at room temperature
30g rolled oats (30g)
40g walnuts (40g)

pulverize the oats in a food processor, then add all other ingredients and blend very well. transfer to a small squarish/retangularish container (lined with cling wrap), press down and squish hard. cut into energy bar sized bars.

if i have all the time and money in this world, i will bake and cook everyday for the people i love :))

live rightly

there are few things to look forward to now - the man's return next week, our staycation, our sixth year dating anniversary, the man's big thirty-four and our family photoshoot. my comfort remains a safe heaven, but other things are slipping out of control. why does it feel like i can only keep track of a limited number of things at one time? juggling all these emotions and expectations is so tiring and perhaps i am just not up to it.

i have always thought of what i wanted to do. many times i thought i have got the segment sorted out, that i want to do this and that, i want to be happy. i want to do this and that and then i'll be happy...just maybe. but seriously i should be happy with simple pleasures such as eating macarons at work makes me happy! but really, such happiness don't last.

keep the faith

these days, half the time i have things to say, but they never quite come out because i am either too tired or lazy and mind drifts with floating inspiration. suddenly i lost my lines. perhaps i have been too chilly inside out lately, i am breaking. maybe i have to focus on the fact that, i can be considered lucky, things could have been worse.

maybe i have forgotten what it feels like to be secure and protected, maybe i've forgotten the sensation of a warm hug and real smile. keep the faith, stop pushing everyone away but...who will catch me as i fall?

nine more days

another weekend to the man coming back home. and i am happy not only because he is again back into my arms, but also the girl's. it feels too good to be true, it feels amazing because it has been a long month. i have never thought i will be so diligently and conscientiously in my life, it was crazy. i spent half of my fridays being a clean freak, wiping and moping. i remember feeling so lost the first day the man left for thailand, because i had to do it all! in moments of truth when the man is not by my side, i truly just waver like a wildflower. i had to do this and think about that, i thought i would crumble. but as the day wore on, i began convincing myself that it was not that bad afterall, just so the lonely nights would be that much more bearable. but i am not lying, alexis has really made the cut less severe. for me at least :)

my precious little girl is now quite the cheey little toddler. she is like a sunflower with a sunshine smile to accompany her hyperactive personality. she is very eager for attention, dishing out great big smiles but is sometimes quite aloof and snobbish to those that she is not as familiar with. i suppose this is her personality and i will not force her to change. so for a proud mommy like me, nothing makes me happier than cuddling this little sunflower :) she brings such joy into our lives and puts the color inside of my world. i have this great fulfilment in seeing her personality and character developing each day, watching her learn and grow. in the past one month and even today, she has hit a couple of milestones which surprised me and i am really grateful for such joyful memories. it is always like that for me. i believe that this girl of mine is invincible and she works herself so hard because that is the only way she know how to! that said, the 5 or so weeks loneliness is going to be over in another nine days. i can breathe!

right now, i am looking foward to our staycation trip, the love and a holiday :)

in progress

it has been a week and you are really doing well.
keep up the good job, sweetie :)

one million reasons

before the girl turned third month, i was heavily potty training her. though it was intensely hectic, the experience was priceless. what’s more, i never expected that alexis will be potty trained so quickly :)

this morning when i was lying on bed while the girl was playing with her toys in the living room. she walked in, held my hand and said, "mommy...mommy, poo poo." i was initially very tired but this sentence had made up for everything :))

"believe with all your heart that you will do what you were made to do.”

coconut cookie dough oatmeal on a sunday morning

this sunday morning, i woke up and randomly decided to spend some time in the kitchen and add some coconut touch to alexis's breakfast by making a bowl of warm and gooey coconut cookie dough oatmeal. i love feeding the girl oatmeal for breakfast because i believe oat is definitely one of the healthiest food she could eat and there are so many varieties i can make with it.

the girl slurped her breakfast faster than i imagined and i felt that i was almost blown away by her love. yes, i do love this kind of life. if only the man is with us, it cannot be more perfect, and i cannot be more blessed ♥♥

coconut cookie dough oatmeal

1/2 cup rolled oats
1 tsp stevia
1/4 cup pureed banana
1/4 tsp vanilla/almond extract
1/4 cup formula milk
2 tbsp pre-melted coconut butter

preheat oven to 190 degrees. combine dry ingredients, then mix in wet. pour into 2 ramekins. bake for 25 minutes until it is warm and gooey. i fed her one and freeze another :)

next on her next weekend breakfast: peanut butter & jelly oatmeal :)