random thoughts on a saturday night

before junior came out on 261011, darling dear and i had visions on how and what to we want her to be and what we do not want her to be. we want her to grow up to be independent and successful in life, we want her to be happy, we want her to feel loved. we will not spoil her, we will not neglect her and we will not make her feel unloved.

i stopped breastfeeding after the first week. i was undergoing tremendous stress at that point of time. i tried my best but i have to admit that stopping breastfeeding guilty-fied me. the first time i fed her a bottle of formula, i teared, treating as though i was feeding her poison. but looking at her satisfied eyes after that particular bottle of milk, i was bought over immediately. i was wrong, very wrong to read up too many articles or forum on breastfeeding even before i started. breastfeeding nazi will put down mommies who are not breastfeeding, making people like me super depressed! dumex.com.sg quoted: "breastfeeding can help to protect your baby from chest and ear infections and some allergies, like asthma and eczema." but hey, i know of a baby who was breastfed for eight months but in the end, he still develop eczema! however i still believe that breastmilk is still the best for a baby with all the nutrients that can't be found in formula. i have friends who breastfed and still breastfeeding now, i do envy them in some way or another and at times, i wish i can do the same. however now breast milk or formula milk no longer matters to me. with more time and less stress, i am confident of making junior as healthy and as happy as breastfed babies. this is the kind of happy person i hope junior will be.

nowadays kids spend more time playing with electronic devices, from computers to handheld video game systems, than actively playing outside. television is a major culprit. studies shows that kids younger than 6 spend an average of 2 hours a day in front of a screen, mostly watching tv, dvds, or videos. older kids and teens spend almost 4 hours a day watching tv, dvds, or videos. when computer use and video games are included, time spent in front of a screen increases to over 5½ hours a day! kids who watch more than 4 hours a day are more likely to be overweight compared with kids who watch 2 hours or less. not surprisingly, tv is linked to increased likelihood of being overweight. in other words, for many kids, once they get home from school, virtually all of their free time is spent in front of one screen or another. up till today, we are still doing it fine. the tv is off when junior is awake. she even got a non-electronic wooden cot mobile instead of those that are operated on battery. we also try our best to reduce the times in front of the laptops, ipad as well as the mobile phone. i have friends who feel sorry for her because they felt that we are depriving her off tv-watching. indeed the tv is the best way of occupying a kid when you have something else to attend to. having a child is a lifelong commitment and to us, nothing is better than physical interaction with junior. i love to read to junior every morning. i will explain to her the moral of the story to end the whole story telling. seeing her smile and coo really cracks us up! and once again, tv and electronics gadgets are things i will want her to grow up without with below the age of two.

the percentage of overweight children in the world is growing at an alarming rate, with 1 out of 3 kids now considered overweight or obese. many kids are spending less time exercising and more time in front of the tv, computer, or video-game console. and today's busy families have fewer free moments to prepare nutritious, home-cooked meals. from fast food to electronics, quick and easy is the reality for many people in the new millennium. quick to say, darling dear and i vow to provide junior with the best home-cooked meals for as long as possible. no sugar, no fast food, no processed meat will be given to her for as long as possible. however we will not completely eliminate such food from her diet as i believe that forbidden food taste the best and she will tend to overeat outside. but at least for the first eighteen months, these are the food i want her to grow up without with.

i grew up in a home that had a rule of sitting down together to have our dinner. we did not just grab our food and eat separately somewhere in the house – we all sat down together to have our dinner. sometimes it was annoying, especially when i wanted to catch my favourite tv serial. but looking back, i can see how important it was. that was the time when we talked about our day and we had no choice but to listen to each other and bond as a family. i feel that no matter how big or small a family is, it is important to set aside time together – and what better time than at dinner? nowadays when darling dear and i have our dinner, we will place junior on a high chair placed in between us allowing her to get used to the idea of sitting down together during a meal. this is how the kind of environment i want junior to grow up in.

junior is now learning to poo in the toilet bowl. yes, at her fourteen weeks, we are putting her on the toilet bowl. it may sound crazy but seriously, she did it! initially when i told darling dear about my decision to start the potty training once she reaches 12 weeks, his reaction was like everyone else, "she is too young!". "if we don't try, how will we know she can't do it? we can just take cues from her reactions. if after we try and she really can't do it then so be it. we will try again when she gets older. but i still hope to try!" this is what i said to him, now he is very very very convinced :) two weeks have passed and up till today, junior is still pooing in the toilet bowl. i really got to praise her for this. as tough as it goes, darling dear and i are making every single effort to bring her to the toilet every morning. putting her on the toilet bowl every morning is our way of introducing potty training. this is the way we want her to train her.

up till today, we felt glad about not buying a pram or not giving her a pacifier. i am not saying that putting a child in a pram is bad or a child sucking a pacifier is ugly, but these are exactly the stuff i want my junior to grow up without. we simply love the physical interaction when we carry her or put her in a carrier. however sadly to say, everyone in the world seems to have an opinion about it. i bought a carrier for her instead. not surprising, i have friends who commented that i will definitely get a stroller as it will be too tiring to carry her as time goes by. i too have strangers who came up to us saying junior is too small to be in a carrier or she can't breathe when she is carried this way. initially we tried explaining to them that this carrier is designed from newborns onwards but after sometime, i started to realise what they are trying to say - we are abusing her. and i think that is crazy. but nevertheless, after meeting a couple of such people, i just decided to just roll my eyes and walk away from their remarks.

since junior was three weeks old, she had been undergoing the angmo way - sleeping alone in her own room on her own cot. all lights out with no pillows, bolsters, toys & parents but a good night kiss from darling dear and myself. the baby monitor was on and we learnt to check on her only if we hear cries. otherwise she will be left sleeping in her own dark room. the reason why we wanted to seperate her from us during sleeping time is because we want her to learn to be independent. and this is how we want her to be when she grows up.

i had spoken to friends who doesn't believe in caning and even more disagree with our method of smacking a three month old baby. "this will scare the kid!", this is what they tell me. however darling dear & i believe in fostering the right values and self discipline at a tender age. this is to say, disciple will start from baby. some people quoted our way of disciple as "military training". when i see caregivers chasing after the child with a bowl of porridge during meal times, i shook my head and tell myself that junior will not, must not be like that. when i hear stories about children at a young age cry for toys in a shopping mall, i will get paranoid hoping junior will not and must not be like that. at the end of the day, self discipline goes a long way. however our way of discipline does not limit only to physical discipline. most of the times we will reason out with junior, instead of smacking her. "you must learn to ask nicely, you must learn not to scream and cry if you can't get the things she want." this is what we said to her in a very firm tone. somehow or the other after repeating tries, she seems to be able to get the message across to her brain. and after some processing, the screaming-crying will stop and this is when we will carry, hug, kiss and praise her :) this is how we want to teach her - to ask nicely, to be humble, to be a good person.

extravagant full month baby shower or birthday parties are part of what we want her to grow up without with. there is two sides of debate in this issue. some parents will feel bad if they did not hold a party for their child because being one month or one of age is once in a lifetime. whereas parents like us who does not believe in extravagant parties believe in not wanting the child to expect a big birthday celebration every year, in other words - not spoiling the child. we had attended a couple of baby's full month parties, frankly to say i doubt the baby enjoyed it or knew what was going on. in another words, its all for the parents. but of course, these are only our opinions and perceptions. i believe there will come a time junior will request for her own birthday party, well, lets see when this time comes!

perhaps some methods or ways we used may fail but at least we try. and when we try, we are able to customise our methods accordingly to her personality and character. parenting is not about following books or advices from another person. what works on another child might not work on junior and vice versa. nevertheless all parents want the best for their child, we are no difference. there are many people who commented on the way we bring up junior, but well we are her parents and i assume we are the one who know her best? we may not use the best bringing up method but at least we know we love her. one day, she will know it too.

my little angel

its amazing how a 30 minutes feeding-carrying session with junior can make me forget my unhappiness for that moment ((:

sip sip

now that junior can turn, poo in the toilet bowl,
whats next?

hold a sippy cup! (:

its 58!

now with a junior, its no longer a two-people world.
though its lack of romantic-ism, its more fun than ever!

happy fifty-eight months!

happy valentine's day

thank you for the "surprise",
thank you for your love,
thank you for junior,
thank you for everything.

happy love day to you.

a walk to remember

naughty girl has been very curious and imitative.

dunno since when she likes to stand and even started "walking".
we just need to let her grab our hands and she can walk a long stretch :)

books shopping week

spent near to two hundreds bucks on a batch of good worth books.

reading to junior makes me smile,
though distracted and not understand,
i believe she will know it one day.

our little one in this big big world

everything seems to be going well these days.

i can't thank you enough for being there everyday. the conversation that we have with each other, the silly laughs that you make, always makes our days get better. you are like an angel sent, sent to take away all the unhappiness and make us smile through sleep. when we discussed about your existence, your future. i'm really happy.